Honestly

I'm scared.

Of failing.

Success.

Being everything, everyone wants me to be and disappointing the whole universe.

Of never fulfilling my dreams, goals and visions but more scared of it being even bigger then I can imagine.

Honestly.

I'm really just scared that I'll do it all for me.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all for the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17

I believe that God has placed so much talent in each one of us. Talent that is bigger then we can possibly grasp with our own minds. It looks us in the face everyday with the option to be used for our own glory, or the glory of the Lord. AND constantly we, as humans use it for our own selfish gain.

I am the worlds worst at it too. I will "humbly" take my deserved pats on the back and file back in line for the next time that I have a chance in the spot light. For the whole world to see my talent, my face, to get a name for myself. Just when I think I have really done something big for the Lord, He will remind me that worldly honor is worthless.

"Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." Matthew 6:1

And Honestly

... When I remember that, that I just did "something for Lord" but let the glory sit on my own shoulders, it breaks my heart, and makes me sick. How could I possibly think I deserve that beauty, that honor? The God of the Universe was kind enough to allow my insignificant life wake up for another breath in the morning and I am going to take His praise..

O no, not anymore.

I know that I was created for a purpose, for a destiny that no person can stand in the way of. Not even myself. I am going to bring people to the knowledge of a loving Savior and be used to bring freedom to the captives. I'll be His mouth piece and always share the truth. I might walk lonely in the worlds eyes sometimes, but I wont even notice because my eyes will be so fixed on Him. If I am sad, He will turn my sorrow into joy (Jeremiah 31:13). He has promised me to never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). He is my best friend (Proverbs 18:24). I trust Him with my future because He has created it (Psalms 33:11).

Honestly

I know that my fears are small compared to my God. I have never gone without His leading and I will continue to seek Him. My prayer is as I grow in the things of the Lord, He will purge me of this world and continue to fill me with Himself, never letting me stay the same.

And HONESTLY

I know I will never get in the way.